I am taking a look at this blog for the first time in a long time. I've had this blog for 4+ years, and reading through my old posts brings back memories. It makes me remember of where I was in my life at the time of the post. It reminds how I was feeling at the time. My outlook on the world. My arrogance. My excitement. My disappointment. My sadness. Perhaps all those feelings do not come through in my posts, but I can remember how I was feeling when I wrote them.
I look back at a number of the of the posts, and I just think "what a jackass!" I guess I've grown up a bit. 28 year old Evan looks back on 23/24 year old Evan, and just kind of chuckles. I had no idea what my life had in store for me. All the ups and downs, twists and turns. One thing I wish I could tell my 23/24 year old self is to shut up and listen.
And I have shut up and listen, a bit. I'm not perfect, and I'm always working to be a better listener. Through listening, I tried to take away some lessons and practice on those lessons. In the process of listening and practicing I have gained a bit of knowledge over the last few years. I've learned to be more patient. To be more humble. To have more respect for those who have come before me. To relax. To nurture both body and mind. I'm sure I have learned many other things as well, but those stick out in my mind the most.
I think one of the most exciting things I have learned, though, is I still have no idea what life has in store me. It's quite a great feeling that there is still so much ahead of me. So much more to learn and experience. I look back at 23 as "my youth," but I recognize 28 is still pretty damn young, and I look forward to what is in store for me. Both the good times and the hard times.
I don't know if I should delete this blog, scrub my record of the stupidity of my youth, or keep it around. As a record, as a reflecting point. I think I'll keep it around for now. I like the history lesson.
Now to set a goal for myself. Actually write a worthwhile blog post about game development before the month of March is out. Lets see if I can hold myself to it.